


Lead Reflections

by DreamersEclipse



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Drawing, First Kiss, M/M, Post Season 2, Renhardt - Freeform, Vignette, confession?, damn english language, it's lead as in pencil lead not as in leading, maybe sometime in season 3 or even 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6132142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamersEclipse/pseuds/DreamersEclipse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick wanted to draw Renard. Renard obliged him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lead Reflections

Nick pushed Renard gently onto the couch, the tips of his fingers having the power to make him sit with just a light brush against his chest and a significant look. He smiled down at his Captain who was looking up at him now with burning dark eyes. 

“Get comfortable. Try not to move too much.” He warned the other man before slowly retreating back so that he was sitting on the lounge chair across from him. Sketchpad and wooden pencil in hand, he let his eyes roam over Sean- taking in the contours of his face, body, the way his crisp white dress shirt clung against his skin and the way part of his chest was visible from the open top. 

Renard was sitting in a relaxed position, one arm thrown over the back of the couch while the other rested on his thigh. His long legs were outstretched in front of him, knees spread and feet touching the floor- looking very comfortable indeed. Of course he was very good about not moving. Not even a nervous twitch or shuffling of any sort. Just his gaze firmly fixed on Nick- inspecting him in turn. 

Nick’s throat felt dry all of a sudden and he began moving his pencil against the paper with the practice of someone who’s been drawing for a long time. When he got into it he didn’t glance up timidly for reference. He unabashedly took in Renard’s features and marveled at the golden complexion of his skin against the low lamp lights in the living area being his only source of light to go on and casting enticing, intimidating shadows over his captain. Drawing him like this gave the Grimm an opportunity that he otherwise would never have even considered.

Looking at his captain and really seeing what was there- analyzing the man who’s been his boss for so many years and yet who he knew so little about. Strong jaw, easy to draw. Clothes always so impeccable, they always seemed to have less wrinkles in them than other people’s clothes- even after a long day running around on duty. Wealth but never over showy or revealing of the fact that he’s probably wealthier than the clothes he buys. The fancy apartment is more of a giveaway than his watch or shoes. Filled with many different kinds of art decorating as many surfaces as possible in a vivid color scheme that he thought impossible for a man as stoic as Renard. His place spoke of someone who greatly appreciated the silent poems, speeches, truths and tragedies that were expressed in a manifestation of the physical through various works of art. A pleasant surprise coming from this man.

Thin lips, strong hands, imperial nose…Nick faltered in his drawing when he got to the eyes. He seemed to snap out of his muse as he tipped his pencil back from the page and looked back up at Sean. His captain’s deep green eyes were still locked on him. He tilted his nose up and gazed down at Nick like that when he noticed the younger man had paused in his work.

There was just something about Renard’s eyes. They were always so carefully guarded. If eyes were a gateway to the soul, his eyes were more like mirrors reflecting only what you wanted to see. In this moment though, the one he was living in this man’s apartment, Renard’s eyes seemed to be open. Not a gateway, but a window where he could see in and finally notice the pain there. The ambition, the doubts and determination, a plethora of deep and honest things that opened his own eyes to this man. The real person beneath superior titles and bloodlines that was silently begging for recognition.

How did he not see all of that before? Nick wondered but he honestly couldn’t remember a time when he actually looked at his captain. For even when he did he always seemed to have some sort of lens on distorting his view; normally anger being the main one. Suspicion and distrust close seconds.

Renard gave him a small half smile. “You finished already?”

Nick blinked slowly, stunned by the warmth that filled up those green eyes as they peered at him. “Just about.” He murmured softly and turned his attention back to the paper, inspiration returned to him with a flare as he finished the eyes. 

Considering that these days mainly all his drawings consisted of wesen creatures he was always more concerned with getting their general appearance down on paper to use as a reference in his hunting than he was with drawing the actual people themselves. So he found himself enjoying the attention of personal detail he was putting into this picture of Renard. Taking someone’s essence and capturing it on paper, shades of lead magically revealing something of both the artist and subject.

He smiled to himself and put his pencil down on the coffee table in front of him. There was lead smudged on his fingers and eraser shredding on his jeans but the end result pleased him. Glancing up at Renard though made him a bit nervous to share the finished product. This was after all a drawing of his boss…and a man who he’s come to trust and respect beyond their professional field. 

“I promise not to be offended.” Renard said in a teasing, reassuring lilt. 

“You say that now.” Nick replied playfully though his fingers still gripped hesitantly at the sketchpad.

The older man leaned forward in his seat, hunching somewhat as he leaned his elbows on his legs and clasped his hands together. He simply waited Nick out, a quiet and politely pressuring presence that made the detective itch to simply hand it over like a report he had to turn in past its deadline. He swallowed his pride and handed it over to Renard who took the book silently and gave his full intention to looking it over. It was a bit nerve wrecking as the man did nothing but stare at it for a good couple of minutes with no change in his expression.

“I have to say, the work you do on the eyes is rather unnerving. I feel like I’m looking in a mirror.” His eyes came up from the paper to meet Nick’s. It was hard to tell if he was truly unnerved or just saying that. Either way it sounded like a compliment and in a weird way he took it as one- even if it was a roundabout one. Renard slightly tilted the book in his hand, question in the action, “Would you mind if I look at the others?”

He jumped slightly at the words, surprised to hear them, “Uh yeah, go right ahead.”

Renard began flipping through his sketchpad, eyeing each works individually with rapt attention. There were only about twelve other pictures in there. It was a relatively new book and it wasn’t like he had a whole lot of free time to sketch. Most of them were of wesen, just practice on shading fur right, or capturing a certain odd feature. A couple others were of his friends. There was one of Hank- Wu had stolen it from his hands and doodled some childish things around his partner-. Another one that he was quite proud of was of Monroe sitting at his work desk, hunched over the cogs and gears of a broken clock as he used his artisan hands to bring it back to life. Then there was Rosalie who he drew in a custom comic book hero costume. It was just for fun but she loved it and he decided to doodle other people around him into a sort of comic version of themselves.

It was probably at those ones that the other man chuckled. Nick found that he enjoyed the sound of him laughing. Rare as it was, it was very much a treasure when it happened. That was the end of the book though so he flipped it close and handed it over. “You have a really great eye, Nick.”

“Thanks.” He wasn’t sure what else to say to that but even if he wanted to articulate something meaningful the butterflies in his stomach may have been a little too distracting to even do so in the first place. Still, he felt an inkling of awkwardness within himself that prompted him to say, “I wanted to be an artist when I was younger. I even went to an art college for a couple of weeks.”

Sean’s eyes gleamed with interest. “You didn’t always want to be a cop?”

Nick gave a light laugh, surprising himself, “Why, is that surprising?” The royal shrugged. “While I’ve always had a pension for justice, it didn’t strike me as something I wanted to commit my life to until about a month into my first semester. A friend of mine was framed for an assault. The campus security and even the police decided it was pretty open and shut but I knew better. Least to say I stepped on quite a few toes and may or may not have pushed the boundaries of the law while hunting for the truth.”

“So nothing new then.” His captain laughed once more, the sound settling warmly under the detective’s skin. It was fond and welcome to hear. He couldn’t help the answering smile on his own face. 

He tilted his head down while maintaining eye contact. The easy atmosphere that surrounded them was surprising. Surprising but definitely pleasant. Nick wondered when pleasure had slipped into their interactions like this. When not only did he forgive Renard for everything, but he was purposely seeking the other man out to hear his advice. Then to just converse with him. And now to sit here in his company outside of work and draw him for the simple joy of studying him further.

“No,” He murmured, “nothing new.”

Renard tilted his head slightly. There was a flash of something in his eyes- a question maybe- that was gone too quickly. “Is there ever some part of you that regrets not pursuing a career as an artist?”

“Sometimes I wonder…but I don’t know if I’d be as happy with my work as I am.” He leaned back in his chair, resting the sketchbook on his lap.

“Happy isn’t what I would think you would feel after what happened these past few years. Least of which was some of the trouble I caused you.” 

Nick offered a wry smile. There was a softness in his gaze that he didn’t try to cover up. “I became a cop because I love to help people. That’s never an easy job in and of itself but that doesn’t make it any less worth doing. And I’ve come to learn that that job also extends to things as simple as forgiving others.”

The older man’s eyes flashed in surprise then filled with something else. Guilt, happiness…A self-deprecating smile appeared on his face that made the detective want to do something about it. Touch him, tell him something more- anything. But he couldn’t move from his spot. The sketchbook was an impossible weight on his lap keeping him pinned down.

“You’re a good cop and a good man, Nick.” He said. Hands loosely clasped together between his knees while his gaze remained soft but constant.

“So are you.” Was his unhesitant reply.

Renard let out a chuff like an undeveloped mirthless laugh. That’s when his eyes finally traveled elsewhere. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, but thank you.”

Unable to take any more of the self-deprecation, Nick arose from his seat- immediately drawing a curious look- placing his drawing book on his vacant seat behind him. He walked around the coffee table to stand right in front of Renard who was looking up at him. It was oddly thrilling and humbling to be the one looking down on his captain as the man was ridiculously tall. It was a tad inconvenient for his intent though so he squatted down, keeping locked gazes. The other man regarded him warily and curious. 

Nick slowly reached out to caress his cheek with the ghostly touch of his fingertips. He wasn’t even quite sure what he was doing. His instincts merely directed his body with the actions that felt right. There was an underlying tension within Renard even as he remained un-tense and impassive. 

Those green eyes drew him in. Slowly he inched his faced closer, eyes falling half-mast as he studied the handsome face he had just finished drawing. A fire burned in him with the desire to capture this man again and again on paper. His smile, his laughter, the beautifully intimidating regality, the wonderful, secretive homeliness of seeing him relaxing in jeans- all of it reflected by grey lines swirled, slashed and smeared across a page. He wanted to be undone by the frustration of never fully capturing the power of him, but god he could just keep attempting with no intention of stopping. The true madness of the artist, forced to be inadequate in comparison to the beauty of reality.

Renard turned his head away before their lips could touch, causing Nick to pause. In a soft but firm voice he said, “You shouldn’t do that.”

“Why?” He questioned though still pulled away.

The royal looked back down at him. Nick felt like the air was punched out of him. How could he not have seen it? Years of working with the man and everything that happened since he became a Grimm, and he missed it. The emotions in the man before him. It was there, bright and burning with no dispassionate façade covering it up. His eyes were dilated, opening a black iris to reveal all the things Nick had been too scared to see till now.

“There are a million reasons that you shouldn’t.” He replied softly.

“I’m more concerned with the reasons I should.”

Renard smiled sadly at him. “You shouldn’t be.” He lifted his hand and gently touched Nick’s cheek. There was hesitancy there. The detective could feel it in himself as well but that didn’t stop his eyes fluttering closed or from him leaning into the touch- enjoying the warm, calloused palm that caressed his skin. He let out a content sigh at the contact. For some reason that response made Renard lean his head down so that their foreheads were touching. Warm breath gusted across his face with the proximity.

“We both know I’m not the most orthodox person.” He murmured. His eyes cracked open to find awe and wariness in the green eyes that were locked on him. A smile tugged the corner of his lips unbidden. He relished the warmth radiating off of the man before him. Yet another wonderful thing he could take notice of with this proximity, this interaction. 

The returned smile was so much more promising and sent heat tingling through his body. There was some mischief in it. “That’s quite the understatement. There’s never been a person like you in existence and here I get the privilege to be privy to it. To you.”

Different heat full of burning flattery flushed across his cheeks. Instinctually he went to turn his head away but his face was held even more firmly by the hand that was still there. Renard appeared amused. For a moment he froze as the bigger man pressed a light kiss to the corner of his mouth before pulling away fully. Nick felt disoriented without the contact.

Then he was being pulled up to the couch to sit next to his captain. Which was good because his knees were starting to ache with the strain of his position. There were plenty of things to be disappointed by…plenty to be satisfied with. Like the phantom warmth at the corner of his mouth or the thigh currently pressed against his. 

“Can I draw you again sometime?” He blurted out.

Renard looked a little taken aback by the sudden change in topic. His eyes crinkled in a smile even as his lips didn’t exactly reveal as much. “I wouldn’t mind. Although maybe I could ask for something in return, if that’s alright with you?”

“Anything.”

Nick felt his palms go sweaty and his heart rate picked up as the royal leaned in to him. All slow movements, careful and concise, no hidden meaning as green eyes flickered sensually from his face to his lips. He didn’t stop him. It was almost silly after his previous attempt but the gesture itself was something to be appreciated. 

When their lips finally touched it sent a shiver down his spine at the realness of the contact. The Grimm sagged into it, into their touching bodies and connected lips. No bright flashes of euphoria blinded him. No carnal drive was ignited within him. But he couldn’t deny how wonderful it felt to move his mouth against the other man’s. To bring reality into the sharp focus of the pleasant and take pleasure from it.

Disappointment whispered in him when Renard pulled away. A shaky sigh was exhaled against his own lips although it didn’t seem to be one caused by lack of air. Nick opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed him and looked at his captain. He looked many different things in that moment. More than not he looked to be a study of regality under the soft gold lamp lights; a man more than a man with the world of a dark city behind him revealed by the large penthouse windows.

Large fingers gently grabbed his hand, maneuvering it so that a darkened gaze could inspect the smears of lead still on his hands. A smile pulled the corner of his lips at looking at it. For some reason the amusement was contagious as he found himself smiling as well.

**Author's Note:**

> The feels for this pairing are so strong right now. This is an older piece that I'm finishing now because motivation (that rare magical thing) has come to me. Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> (P.S. I know the beginning feels like it's jumped into. I just didn't know how to write in a better intro. But hey it's a vignette so whatever.)


End file.
